Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34710) - you deserved it (2858)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16105) - you deserved it (40900)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14774) - you deserved it (40016)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42769) - you deserved it (19267)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

#21368890
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34909) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:38pm - love - by Not Homeless - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35385) - you deserved it (2400)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (6750)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (2703)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (2084)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

#21368765
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (2043)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

#21368646
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (2330)

On 03/05/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by cheshirealyce (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a coworker told my manager that I and another girl were plotting to get her fired at the end of the month. She actually believed her. Now we're suspended without pay for two weeks for conspiracy. FML

#21368636
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (2084)

On 03/05/2015 at 12:10pm - work - by Completely Innocent - United States

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14294) - you deserved it (42460)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: