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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

#21517571
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (7686)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

#21517345
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (2301)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:09am - intimacy - by sadandmad - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

#21517333
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

#21517322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:27am - kids - by lambeaster (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my college roommate tried to kick me out, because what I say makes her uncomfortable. We haven't talked for 3 months. FML

#21517235
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (1677)

On 01/20/2016 at 1:06am - misc - by college0001 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got a new roommate. He's from Mongolia. He has had 5 friends over for the last 7 hours, all speaking Mongolian. This is the most awkward party I have ever been to. FML

#21517225
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18766) - you deserved it (1620)

On 01/20/2016 at 12:42am - misc - by Sittinginthecorner (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

#21517211
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (1329)

On 01/20/2016 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

#21517189
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (1754)

On 01/19/2016 at 11:06pm - misc - by YipYop (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I confided in my best friend about my recent weight loss, and how it was due to lack of appetite because of my horrible depression and anxiety. She congratulated me. FML

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

#21517155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11399) - you deserved it (20391)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

#21517065
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (5675)

On 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by xsnqw - United States (California)

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

#21517034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (3184)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm - misc - by blah - United States (Texas)



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