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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (4829)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39305) - you deserved it (11899)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

#21202583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39966) - you deserved it (3789)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:40am - misc - by crippled (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was really upset and the girl I like saw me. She told me what a great guy I am and that I deserve to be happy. With any other girl but her. FML

#21202480
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40009) - you deserved it (3993)

On 07/08/2014 at 2:04am - love - by SadlyNotMe - United States

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45828) - you deserved it (3599)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (4932)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43669) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47765) - you deserved it (5318)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50423) - you deserved it (7526)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (7141)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (3918)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)



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