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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

#21310063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (26666)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:02pm - misc - by not living happily ever after - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (3744)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (4287)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (2079)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (8503)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (10682)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

#21309261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/01/2014 at 2:30am - money - by shitty candles - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (4963)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

#21308826
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/30/2014 at 3:24pm - misc - by Nose Numb - United States



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