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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

#21427853
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (2767)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by Realworldred (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

#21427797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2079)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm - money - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

#21427634
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (1709)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by hobbled - United States

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

#21427425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (2054)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:42am - love - by canessadawn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (5958)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28820) - you deserved it (2990)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (4435)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for 4 or more hours. Not even 2 hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

#21426852
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (2011)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:47am - misc - by use your brain mother - United States (Utah)

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (2412)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (8536)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (4737)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)



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