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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (3815)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

#21297338
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33824) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm - love - by ugh - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (4379)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lost all hope on making my project high quality because of my partner's incompetence. My partner, AKA the company president. FML

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

#21296970
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31077) - you deserved it (2597)

On 11/11/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML

#21296921
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (6045)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by killme - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33788) - you deserved it (4365)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (4739)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

#21296653
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (3923)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML

#21296304
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (9945)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42286) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34936) - you deserved it (5583)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)



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