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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (2642)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (4743)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62380) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37171) - you deserved it (4652)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (6067)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50792) - you deserved it (5083)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (2631)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (7519)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

#20653345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (7028)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (5561)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (11584)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49988) - you deserved it (3137)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)



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