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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (3194)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (18313)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (36023)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

#21310455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34888) - you deserved it (3226)

On 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm - misc - by clumsyandpoor (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (6131)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (3480)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

#21310063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (26651)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:02pm - misc - by not living happily ever after - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (3743)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)



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