Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (8928)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (2731)
On 06/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anoymous - United States (California)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (3575)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46031) - you deserved it (8840)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (7166)
On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (4669)
On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (3140)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46917) - you deserved it (9550)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I began having a seizure during breakfast. My soon to be ex-wife laughed and filmed me with her phone while my stepson called an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55697) - you deserved it (3032)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:10am - misc - by annoymous - United States (California)
Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (3180)
On 06/08/2013 at 2:38am - intimacy - by kalleylynn - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38580) - you deserved it (2435)
On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)
Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (13546)
On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)
Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49766) - you deserved it (3734)
On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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