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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I unexpectedly ran into my boss. Last week, I'd met with him every day, putting together a last-minute presentation of my research for him to deliver at conference overseas. It turns out that his passport had expired. FML

#21250768
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (2141)

On 09/02/2014 at 8:35pm - work - by theoftrescheduled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34632) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (7678)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (3236)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (2775)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (39374)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (3528)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (2193)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37327) - you deserved it (4648)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34386) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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