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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, It's Been A Week Since I Was Dumpd . I Plannd To Stay At My Apartment, Cry An Eat Chocolate In Peace . My Roommate Decidd To Have Loud Sex With Her Boyfriend In The Apartment . She Refusd To Quiet Down, Saying "My Body, My Rules." FML

#21379056
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (3513)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

yesterday because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack... I had a panic attack. Then... the panic attack causd me to have a real asthma attack. fat FML

#21378889
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun!! When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog!! They believd her and think I ned psychiatric help!! mega FML

#21378741
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (1977)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was wereing a new tank top that was really cute . I later was talking to an attractive guy an thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute an funny . I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit . FML

#21378703
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (9273)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, AS I WAS CLOSING UP AT MAH SANDWICH-MAKING JOBHAN A HUGA BUS FULL OF BASIC, SNOBBY, PRAPPY CHAARLAADAR CUMMD IN. THAY LITARALLY "CAN'T AVAN" DACIDAHAT THAY WANT. FML

I broke up with my girlfriend cuz I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (19)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I DECIDED I WOULD ACTUALLY MAKE USE OF MY APARTMENT COMPLEX'S EXERCISE EQUIPMENT . MY ROUTINE CONSISTED OF ONE MILE ON THE TREADMILL, AND 15 MINUTES ON THE TOILET FOLLOWED BY 10 MINUTES OF LYING IN THE FETAL POSITION ON MY BATH MAT . GREAT CORE WORKOUT . FML

#21378520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today I got a call from the ICU. Apparently mah boyfriend has been there 4 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even mah parents have been to see him. big fat FML

#21378357
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (16)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today , I met the perfect guy. He's sweet , funny , charming , a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as mah father , last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of mah dad. FML

#21378117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (3511)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on mah ceiling. FML

#21378092
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (3172)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

2day after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded . Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (4593)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister . FML

#21378013
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (26)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I was sitting in the airport... watching the baggage handler load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it... one bag cummd open and all the clothe spilld out onto the tarmac. The clothe lookd familiar. They were mine. FML

#21378005
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (2036)

On 03/19/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by Hm (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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