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FMLs submitted from United States

Today,hile in-laws were visiting , two-year old accidentally pushd the door wide openhile I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughd , took out her cell phone , snappd a picture of me and postd it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today I made a speec in front of my entire graduating class and tere families despite my fear of public speaking . It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at te end . Ten I panicked and instead of waving I lifted my arm straigt out in a Hitler salute . FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32212) - you deserved it (6512)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Yesterday, I Had My 18th Birthday Party. At Midnight, Three Police Officers Showd Up At My Door And Askd If They Could Look Around. Were We Doing Anything Bad? Nope. My Friends Suck At Parking. Before They Left, The Officers Said That This Was The Most Tond Down Party They'd Seen In Yeres. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (18)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (7469)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled an asked, ( Hi, can I help you )? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, ( Fuck me, u need to loose some weight! ) an then wandering off. big fat FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY... I TOOK THA BIGGAST... MOST AXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL CRAP OF MAH LIFA. IT WAS SO BAD THAT I COULDN'T WALK STRAIGHT 4 A GOOD 20 MINUTAS AFTARWARDS. LONG ANOUGH 4 MAH BOYFRIAND TO FILM MA LIMPING AROUND AN POST THA CLIP TO FACABOOK WITH THA CAPTION "#ANAL FTW ;)". FML

#21379420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (3522)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Yesterday, My Mom Got Drunk And Started Crying At My After-wedding Party, After Promising She'd Behave Herself. She Thinks My Husband Is An Awful Personho'll Drag Me Into A Life Of Sin, All Cuz He Has A Tattoo And An Ear Piercing. FML

#21379352
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (2443)

On 03/22/2015 at 5:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today a girl asked me to check out her left breast which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (2971)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

yesterday I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nereby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

#21379106
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (190) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm - misc - by van no gough (woman) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I WAS STARTLD BY ROOMMATE MARCHING A DRUNK MAN OUT OF OUR APARTMENT . SOMEHOW HE FOUND HIS WAY IN COMPLETE DARKNESS INTO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT ALERTING ME OR DOG NEXT TO THE ONLY DOOR . HE MISTOOK THE CLOTHES HAMPER 4 THE TOILET . MEGA FML

#21379064
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161) - you deserved it (2302)

On 03/21/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Nexpecto (man) - United States

Today, It's Been A Week Since I Was Dumpd . I Plannd To Stay At My Apartment, Cry An Eat Chocolate In Peace . My Roommate Decidd To Have Loud Sex With Her Boyfriend In The Apartment . She Refusd To Quiet Down, Saying "My Body, My Rules." FML

#21379056
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (3514)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

yesterday because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack... I had a panic attack. Then... the panic attack causd me to have a real asthma attack. fat FML

#21378889
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun!! When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog!! They believd her and think I ned psychiatric help!! mega FML

#21378741
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (1978)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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