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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (2436)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36383) - you deserved it (9569)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32897) - you deserved it (4931)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15224) - you deserved it (33601)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30886) - you deserved it (6304)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (5358)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (3750)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15108) - you deserved it (23480)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (6772)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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