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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (3901)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (1555)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (7022)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (3960)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (5743)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13189) - you deserved it (29426)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (9836)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

#21411433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28352) - you deserved it (2646)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by creepedoutmom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

#21411404
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (6157)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:05am - health - by no more flips - United States (Ohio)

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (3124)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)



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