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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I spent $70 on party supplies for my sister's bachelorette party, another hour decorating, three hours baking and designing a cake, before waiting five hours to hear that she and another bridesmaid had 'moved' the party elsewhere. Cake anyone? FML

#21445882
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (1627)

On 07/23/2015 at 7:53am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

#21445738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (2289)

On 07/22/2015 at 11:18pm - health - by skyllabeauty1234 - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (4878)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25081) - you deserved it (3101)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML

#21445292
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24049) - you deserved it (1945)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:58am - kids - by okay - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

#21445275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (2602)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:20am - work - by Quortney - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

#21445231
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (1462)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother told me to, "Stop bitching and get over it" after I complained of pain from my stomach after invasive surgery. This from the guy who spends multiple hours a day playing Halo and whining about the stupid ways he got killed. FML

#21445196
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (1671)

On 07/21/2015 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (2297)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

#21444850
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:15am - love - by UnfortunatelySingle (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML

#21444844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (1681)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:05am - work - by actionboy116 (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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