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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML

#21431508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (1613)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:54pm - love - by Anonymouss (man) - United States

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (8044)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

#21431312
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (1636)

On 06/24/2015 at 6:18pm - work - by Exil (woman) - United States

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (3535)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (1522)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (1563)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

#21431076
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (1631)

On 06/24/2015 at 8:44am - health - by tantanpanda (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

#21430988
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (3164)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:16am - love - by imblue42 - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML

#21430956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (5365)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:16am - love - by It's CSI Miami - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2491)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

#21430929
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (1802)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm - work - by ilook12 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21475) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

#21430717
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (16684)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)



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