Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (4446)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (12120)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (5578)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

#21338280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm - work - by 360whoroscoped (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (8536)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (2827)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (25371)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

#21337906
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13609) - you deserved it (43311)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm - misc - by whoops.. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (14816)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

#21337697
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (8692)

On 01/15/2015 at 4:05pm - misc - by NairyAGoodIdea (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (14872)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

#21337533
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: