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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (3542)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (4372)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (3331)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (2387)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

#21260926
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35712) - you deserved it (2177)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (7666)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35979) - you deserved it (11144)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (3700)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (3746)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

#21259366
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (2505)

On 09/16/2014 at 10:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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