FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals

Today, I was the only driver at the pizza place I work at, since it was the morning shift. My recently made ex-boyfriend ordered pizza for delivery. Guess who got to take it to him. And guess who got a 34 cent tip. FML

by MagickAngel / 05/23/2016 at 3:19am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at a trampoline park, my time of the month and my out-of-shape body worked together to make me almost pass out. FML

by a faint recollection / 05/22/2016 at 9:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I went into the basement to do laundry. There is a little rope on the outside of the door to lock it. I was down there for 20 minutes, and came back up the stairs to find it locked. Turns out, my 3 year-old sister did it, then our parents took her to the park. I was stuck down there for 4 hours. FML

by Bugga2018 / 05/22/2016 at 7:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, we took an AP exam for Literature. One of the passages was about keeping in feelings in a relationship so that no one is "a burden". My boyfriend read the same passage and felt like he was a burden. I can't convince him otherwise. Thank you college board for endangering my relationship. FML

by welp / 05/22/2016 at 4:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, out of my whole class, I received no awards. All my teachers thought that I would get plenty from the others. Now people think I'm stupid. I have a 3.66 GPA and they won't believe me. FML

by Llamadroid / 05/22/2016 at 2:19pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I woke up at 6:30 this morning, but I didn't have to be at work till 11. I walked the dog, made breakfast and read for a little bit. I then woke up again at 11:30. FML

by Seriouslynow / 05/22/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML

by muaythaiboss / 05/22/2016 at 1:45pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML

by really / 05/21/2016 at 10:23pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a 6 year-old and a 9 year-old. After they went to bed, I started working on a project for on my laptop that was due in 12 hours and fell asleep. I woke up to a dog licking my peanut buttered keyboard and the two kids sitting in the corner giggling. FML

by Kendall14159 / 05/21/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML

by hrs220 / 05/21/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice since I was 13. FML