Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (5885)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3552)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (26383)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (3144)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (6381)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

#21334755
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26593) - you deserved it (3844)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by so much for romance - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

#21334677
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28987) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm - kids - by SadSister:( - United States

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34710) - you deserved it (2357)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

#21334513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (2880)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:22pm - misc - by gotta_respond (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (10205)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: