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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44444) - you deserved it (4365)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56266) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

#21189063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39394) - you deserved it (5586)

On 06/26/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by stop thief (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45320) - you deserved it (5096)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (4701)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36357) - you deserved it (24702)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35300) - you deserved it (22168)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46626) - you deserved it (12157)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48478) - you deserved it (5174)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43852) - you deserved it (3988)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (5570)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)



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