FMLs submitted from United States

Today, as I was building furniture at work, I managed to get my fingernails ripped off and the tips mauled while cutting the wood for a nightstand. As my I was getting bandaged, one of my bosses looked at me and simply asked, "Why'd you stop working?" FML

by acf1233 / 06/14/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after months of helping my mother with bills because she claimed she had no money, I found out she makes way more than what I do. She just wanted my money for alcohol and drugs. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

by sounds good mom / 06/14/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I announced my engagement on social media. I got more people telling me how stupid I was than any actually congratulating me. FML

by Ido / 06/13/2016 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me over video chat. Two days before I was to move across the country to be with him. All of my things are already shipped. He said he thinks of me as a sister. FML

by Unloveable / 06/13/2016 at 12:32pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

by tracy4191 / 06/13/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my oldest friends blocked me for refusing to drive her to and from a wedding that was over 30 miles away. The wedding was mine. FML

Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML

by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML

by babyscarface / 06/12/2016 at 11:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was invited to go to a BBQ with one of my guy friends. It turned out to be a surprise engagement party, and every single one of his friends congratulated me. I'm not his fiancée. FML

by Minnie / 06/12/2016 at 9:33am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant, a customer asked me how many chicken nuggets were in our 6 count chicken nuggets. FML

by confused_cashier / 06/11/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work