Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (5176)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2258)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (3671)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (4436)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (22822)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (18055)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53139) - you deserved it (3053)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (5848)
On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (2839)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (3949)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43729) - you deserved it (3444)
On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (4137)
On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (15759)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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