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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (7404)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21332211
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (3652)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (2462)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (5547)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

#21331580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (5107)

On 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by i_am_forever - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job because my boss thinks that me doing everything he says makes me untrustworthy. FML

#21331517
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (2076)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - work - by zacharynedley - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

#21331516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (2576)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

#21331498
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (1800)

On 01/05/2015 at 6:47pm - misc - by ivegotapackage (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML

#21331413
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/05/2015 at 4:26pm - kids - by Synonymous_Rex - United States (California)

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

#21331074
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (3765)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:08am - health - by FeelingFatastic - United States



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