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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I had a job interview. I was asked what my dream job would be. I blurted out, "The president, because I think it's a very cool and important job." I don't think I'm getting this one. FML

#21509296
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (4733)

On 12/30/2015 at 4:07am - work - by good job brain - United States (California)

Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML

#21509280
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18571) - you deserved it (1626)

On 12/30/2015 at 2:48am - work - by My spit everywhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

#21509247
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3320)

On 12/30/2015 at 12:55am - intimacy - by wardsl195 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

#21509223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by NeverLookingAgain (woman) - United States

Today, after living in my new apartment for barely three weeks, I found mice living under my dish washer. When I brought it up to the managers, they said I'd have to pay for an exterminator myself since they weren't there when they cleaned. FML

#21509184
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (1293)

On 12/29/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

#21509168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (1497)

On 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

#21509147
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (1265)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by bob the builders pissed off daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML

#21509043
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/29/2015 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

#21508974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (1705)

On 12/29/2015 at 4:49am - misc - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML

#21508821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (1401)

On 12/28/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

#21508809
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (1207)

On 12/28/2015 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML

#21508755
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (1458)

On 12/28/2015 at 3:15pm - misc - by FMeRight? - United States (California)



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