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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (2926)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

#21317643
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (5694)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:50pm - money - by dawg - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

#21317549
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (1715)

On 12/14/2014 at 9:07pm - misc - by BFons - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32702) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (2203)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31055) - you deserved it (2351)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15736) - you deserved it (24128)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (2896)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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