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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (6515)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (1530)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (1373)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (2012)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (1335)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (1432)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (9121)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (2110)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

#21448923
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (7558)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:15am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (1576)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (1479)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)



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