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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

#21509769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

#21509753
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (1530)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at work, our boss's son came in to help. The whole time he was there he sat in the back on his phone not helping and whenever we asked him to do something, he had an attitude. The only time he voluntarily got up to help was when his dad came in to check on the restaurant. FML

#21509639
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (1328)

On 12/31/2015 at 3:24am - work - by sickofit - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

#21509618
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

#21509598
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (1514)

On 12/31/2015 at 12:47am - health - by pincushion - United States (California)

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

#21509574
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18186) - you deserved it (1220)

On 12/30/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by just outdone - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

#21509521
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (8203)

On 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by hakuna_matata (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to do my assistant manager's job because she doesn't know what the hell she is doing. I'd interviewed for this position but didn't get it because I'm "still too new for this position." FML

#21509364
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (1230)

On 12/30/2015 at 1:02pm - work - by cnd1213 - United States

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

#21509323
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (2560)

On 12/30/2015 at 8:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a job interview. I was asked what my dream job would be. I blurted out, "The president, because I think it's a very cool and important job." I don't think I'm getting this one. FML

#21509296
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (4733)

On 12/30/2015 at 4:07am - work - by good job brain - United States (California)

Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML

#21509280
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (1626)

On 12/30/2015 at 2:48am - work - by My spit everywhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

#21509247
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3319)

On 12/30/2015 at 12:55am - intimacy - by wardsl195 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

#21509223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by NeverLookingAgain (woman) - United States



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