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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (42030)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53416) - you deserved it (3798)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (9596)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25529) - you deserved it (37687)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

#21193277
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49895) - you deserved it (7828)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39256) - you deserved it (10577)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (6461)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39312) - you deserved it (4171)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (54905)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59765) - you deserved it (4618)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (8135)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

#21192141
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41614) - you deserved it (5782)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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