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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (3736)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27444) - you deserved it (7034)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35569) - you deserved it (3658)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (32320)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (16363)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16800) - you deserved it (42234)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33975) - you deserved it (2553)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (2077)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30671) - you deserved it (2213)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML

#21388867
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (1724)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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