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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38920) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

#21254078
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (2133)

On 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by soontobehobo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

#21253844
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/07/2014 at 5:05pm - work - by teacher (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34872) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (3888)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (3824)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35374) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML

#21253432
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/07/2014 at 12:52am - health - by SymmetricalPizzaFace (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)



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