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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40376) - you deserved it (6487)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (2485)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

#21225337
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (9764)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm - work - by heatherfeather22 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41270) - you deserved it (4496)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (4335)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (5912)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38515) - you deserved it (6336)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (13861)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37317) - you deserved it (8697)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40819) - you deserved it (3317)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52266) - you deserved it (7175)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

#21222740
170 comments

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (3851)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)



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