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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

#21324253
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/25/2014 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

#21324090
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (2005)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (2351)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32675) - you deserved it (3443)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

#21323815
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (2459)

On 12/25/2014 at 6:47am - misc - by dunn76 - United States

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (13319)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

#21323615
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2585)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:48pm - money - by evil Santa - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (11052)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my ex boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

#21323420
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (2489)

On 12/24/2014 at 4:49pm - love - by single - United States (Utah)

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

#21323347
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (2099)

On 12/24/2014 at 3:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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