Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (6206)
On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States
Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (12882)
On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (3014)
On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (5780)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (3410)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (2842)
On 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm - misc - by s0m3guy2010 - United States
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45431) - you deserved it (5037)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (10489)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34583) - you deserved it (5564)
On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (10790)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (4521)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47027) - you deserved it (7536)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (6085)
On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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