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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my roommate blamed me after her cat got shocked after chewing through my phone charger cable. The same one my roommate stole to charge her tablet. Yet it's still somehow my fault. FML

Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

#21511580
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you deserved it (1168)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:27pm - work - by HeatherFeatherB (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

#21511511
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm - misc - by this is impossible (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

#21511488
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm - kids - by bushy brows - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss lost the company a very lucrative contract I had worked on for weeks because he wouldn't tolerate the client's "disrespect." The disrespect? Asking him to not interrupt her or put words in her mouth during a conference call with her employees. FML

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

#21511386
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20292) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (California)

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

#21511346
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20690) - you deserved it (1758)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

#21511250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/04/2016 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML

#21511205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (2080)

On 01/03/2016 at 11:57pm - intimacy - by loko0909 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

#21511086
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (1166)

On 01/03/2016 at 6:00pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

#21511030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21500) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by ywouldudomelikethat (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

#21511005
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (16143)

On 01/03/2016 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Oops - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML

#21510957
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17601) - you deserved it (1951)

On 01/03/2016 at 11:15am - misc - by NAT - United States (South Carolina)



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