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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35677) - you deserved it (7225)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47165) - you deserved it (4308)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (43731)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21880) - you deserved it (37797)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37055) - you deserved it (5731)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40067) - you deserved it (2735)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49145) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (2714)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

#21242835
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (5458)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:53pm - love - by flyakite - United States

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37308) - you deserved it (4680)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (14912)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (2966)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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