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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my ex boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

#21323420
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/24/2014 at 4:49pm - love - by single - United States (Utah)

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

#21323347
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (2098)

On 12/24/2014 at 3:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32775) - you deserved it (3387)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML

#21323028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31264) - you deserved it (2831)

On 12/24/2014 at 12:56am - misc - by now what - United States (California)

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

#21322900
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (3906)

On 12/23/2014 at 8:48pm - animals - by AquaKelly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, for my Christmas bonus at work, I got a potted plant and some lotion. FML

#21322774
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (2575)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:58pm - work - by whut - United States

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

#21322769
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (5529)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (3886)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

#21322693
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (2579)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Unknown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (2492)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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