Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (4097)
On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39530) - you deserved it (2019)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (4556)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)
Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (3316)
On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41639) - you deserved it (3245)
On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (11822)
On 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by public pooper - United States
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47249) - you deserved it (2966)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51741) - you deserved it (10770)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59272) - you deserved it (6789)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (5009)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37068) - you deserved it (14021)
On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (3868)
On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (2812)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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