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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

#21436861
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (1831)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm - love - by wellthatsucks - United States

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

#21436783
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (1732)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by izaya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (1635)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

#21436683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (1520)

On 07/05/2015 at 5:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

#21436632
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (2571)

On 07/05/2015 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (3047)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3718)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (5047)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (2364)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (3483)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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