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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

#21080378
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (7607)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I thought I'd finally finished the special project my boss gave me of changing the eligibility details on several hundred loans. My coworker later pointed out that the document was the same as it had been hours before, and that the changes I made hadn't saved at all. FML

#21079586
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (6237)

On 03/06/2014 at 11:24am - work - by workaholic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

#21079338
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (5893)

On 03/06/2014 at 12:52am - money - by TheyHaveMyAddress - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32297) - you deserved it (15448)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (2595)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

#21078463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40895) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39023) - you deserved it (6047)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (2530)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

#21078096
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34252) - you deserved it (5311)

On 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by cubs44fan - United States (Indiana)



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