Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (8663)
On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51170) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (2169)
On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States
Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (3237)
On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (2893)
On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40052) - you deserved it (6523)
On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)
Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (3108)
On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15863) - you deserved it (41234)
On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)
Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (3524)
On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43866) - you deserved it (3590)
On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43866) - you deserved it (3868)
On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (3792)
On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (13777)
On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Cristoforo - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
