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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (21303)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I printed my 10 page econometrics problem set questions out on $15/100 sheet ivory resume paper that I'd accidentally left in the paper tray on my printer. It turned out to be the wrong assignment. FML

#1482
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7180) - you deserved it (13920)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Nathan - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18891) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

#1468
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8810) - you deserved it (33628)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

#1465
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (2261)

On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (1502)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14354) - you deserved it (3765)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (8308)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

#1435
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (1682)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Noname - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

#1434
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5868) - you deserved it (47294)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (9034)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (2429)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (5629)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)



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