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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (2663)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (23142)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (1771)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

#3037
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17409) - you deserved it (5075)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44860) - you deserved it (1638)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44365) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (26424)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

#3014
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7680) - you deserved it (14972)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by bedrockmike - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2587)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (27370)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML

#2983
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (1421)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:13am - work - by Noname - United States (Missouri)



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