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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16238) - you deserved it (31330)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8616) - you deserved it (28824)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (6794)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

#7546
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

#7471
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38577) - you deserved it (1888)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6445) - you deserved it (34713)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (2568)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

#6861
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27630) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:51pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (46528)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)



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