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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found out how stupid my girlfriend really is. She saw my room for the first time and started yelling at me, calling me racist, white trash for having a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. It's a British flag. FML

#21180829
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1) - you deserved it (6)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by EmptyGlass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45209) - you deserved it (7234)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

#21180330
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39372) - you deserved it (6010)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54382) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54011) - you deserved it (4739)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (4269)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (49831)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51443) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (7051)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

#21178066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/17/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by luckycharmed (woman) - United States

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42645) - you deserved it (2621)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML



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