Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (1463)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML

#21438172
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (3824)

On 07/07/2015 at 8:52pm - health - by BigHelp (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML

#21438049
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (3826)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Hue - United States

Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

#21438040
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (7593)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:20pm - misc - by HowToGetFired - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (2344)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

#21437983
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24990) - you deserved it (2064)

On 07/07/2015 at 2:19pm - love - by innocent cat lady - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

#21437872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (1425)

On 07/07/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by No-Sleep Nellie - United States (Iowa)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

#21437701
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:59pm - kids - by BlazefireSaber (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after my boss has gotten in the habit of calling me "bubble wrap girl" at work because I'm clumsy and he claims I need to be covered in bubble wrap for my own protection, I have just probably broken two toes by dropping a hairdryer on my foot. I will never hear the end of this. FML

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (5412)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML

#21437540
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (1703)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:51pm - health - by sydmarie98 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: