Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47558) - you deserved it (2268)
On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (7996)
On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44714) - you deserved it (26646)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50007) - you deserved it (5917)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (11621)
On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (9606)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (2716)
On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (3446)
On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)
Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (7355)
On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49871) - you deserved it (3225)
On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States
Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (8662)
On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51173) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (2169)
On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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