FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

by Jusawkward / 10/01/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

by Ataraxia / 10/01/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

by Icy / 10/01/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

by betchyo / 10/01/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

by Garrett / 10/01/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML

by bm128902 / 10/01/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML

by GetMoney / 09/30/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

by QuestionMyLife / 09/30/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

by never_ending_hangover / 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

by Notthemaid / 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous