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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

#25578
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10901) - you deserved it (38554)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by red button - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59569) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47417) - you deserved it (7930)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (29386)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (4916)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (2388)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34839) - you deserved it (5602)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (15621)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

#22256
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35653) - you deserved it (2065)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

#22156
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (4871)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Tennessee)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79592) - you deserved it (24696)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)



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