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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20629) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19874) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (1723)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (3068)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (1868)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

#1507
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (6441)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by Allenburg - United States (California)

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

#1495
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19058) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13492) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (38344)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11008) - you deserved it (21218)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)



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