Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14002) - you deserved it (6503)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14279) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (32143)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML

#1378
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5426) - you deserved it (19945)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by abbacjt - United States (California)

Today, my ex told me he broke up with me because he loved me, and that he was afraid of the commitment. He's living with his new girlfriend now. FML

#1354
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (1391)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:58am - love - by Down - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took a crap at work. When I go to flush the toilet, it clogs and begins to overflow. I leave the bathroom the way it is and as I walk out, my boss comes in. FML

#1353
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12235) - you deserved it (7281)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:45am - work - by DonPedro - United States (New York)

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (31965)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss reeks of mothballs. We share a cubicle. FML

#1339
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14253) - you deserved it (1466)

On 01/16/2009 at 7:19am - work - by misc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML

#1325
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (15001)

On 01/16/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Alex - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8071) - you deserved it (34761)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

#1302
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4914) - you deserved it (20626)

On 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by jen - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: