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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (3153)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16541) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (2014)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (18880)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (1643)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (3801)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

#1823
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (4960)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by JackAttack - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21171) - you deserved it (5642)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (6210)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (1913)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (6762)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4661) - you deserved it (17384)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)



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