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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46929) - you deserved it (15330)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

#108333
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (54882)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (66889)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML

#107726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33056) - you deserved it (16885)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68624) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

#104917
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40897) - you deserved it (4187)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by JRock - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

#104112
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (11068)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:02pm - health - by amandapurple (woman) - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (56170)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML

#102896
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (6802)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by SIK of everything (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36386) - you deserved it (6050)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44518) - you deserved it (3989)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

#100715
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (14698)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10679) - you deserved it (29587)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)



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