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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104816) - you deserved it (5536)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (76092)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69599) - you deserved it (16360)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18332) - you deserved it (190663)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

#319307
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79392) - you deserved it (8256)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171598) - you deserved it (21457)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (109764)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67118) - you deserved it (9830)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you deserved it (61557)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80865) - you deserved it (5689)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (187373)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132828) - you deserved it (10270)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86911) - you deserved it (7451)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)



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