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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

#26905
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54681) - you deserved it (5830)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

#26811
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56159) - you deserved it (2127)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by EKG (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

#25767
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (7461)

On 02/11/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by dynomyte (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML

#25739
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (2162)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by bm (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

#25578
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10628) - you deserved it (38007)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by red button - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (7684)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59436) - you deserved it (3061)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47266) - you deserved it (7918)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12964) - you deserved it (29223)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (4910)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5595)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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