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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (31338)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (27340)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (3580)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

#77291
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (5091)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11597) - you deserved it (45044)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

#75881
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (6725)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:36am - health - by fatass (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55505) - you deserved it (5206)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML

#75556
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14377) - you deserved it (25082)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

#75423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (21818)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:29am - love - by littelace - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48170) - you deserved it (9787)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

#74820
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45131) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by sucks2suck (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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