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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML

#29762
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (5482)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by rainyday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

#29521
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11699) - you deserved it (30419)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10249) - you deserved it (120442)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

#29334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15335) - you deserved it (32494)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)

Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML

#29316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4150)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by ServingYouWings (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72224) - you deserved it (3780)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML

#26983
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (3586)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by iwantpizza69 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40750) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

#26905
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54671) - you deserved it (5831)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

#26811
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56135) - you deserved it (2124)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by EKG (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

#25767
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (7459)

On 02/11/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by dynomyte (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML

#25739
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (2162)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by bm (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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