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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

#632054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120800) - you deserved it (8990)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML

#630106
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65417) - you deserved it (26338)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm - money - by Broke (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106713) - you deserved it (5537)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

#629256
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61223) - you deserved it (4592)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by denied - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

#628837
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46505) - you deserved it (24396)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16436) - you deserved it (109182)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML

#625298
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162006) - you deserved it (22159)

On 03/26/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by Voice29 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

#622257
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95649) - you deserved it (8316)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

#622063
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82898) - you deserved it (4754)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you deserved it (72190)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

#621353
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61925) - you deserved it (32010)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

#620821
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126237) - you deserved it (9538)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

#619804
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59139) - you deserved it (9320)

On 03/26/2009 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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