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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (53224)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50873) - you deserved it (20815)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

#69853
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (3303)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107098) - you deserved it (9817)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (6088)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

#69146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39084) - you deserved it (5327)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43447) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (43317)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56553) - you deserved it (4747)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

#66830
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (4840)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:55am - love - by dxl (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15386) - you deserved it (32216)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (12466)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)



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