Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

#853459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58496) - you deserved it (7372)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by saltynutz20 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML

#852442
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42327) - you deserved it (26227)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

#852242
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (52557)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

#852008
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13084) - you deserved it (75137)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by gotmon3y (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

#850361
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55805) - you deserved it (12510)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:50am - work - by GT716 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168451) - you deserved it (9219)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55332) - you deserved it (8881)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

#847949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57817) - you deserved it (4034)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:21am - love - by darkman28 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (43039)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9838) - you deserved it (90811)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80661) - you deserved it (3205)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
684 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (486348)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: