Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I finally figured out that when a man says "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML

#5305557
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12359) - you deserved it (32773)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:15am - love - by justplainsad (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

#5304412
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (53526)

On 09/16/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by civic4life (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML

#5303139
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (3034)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Lulu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying out for a play I really wanted to be in. After my audition, I was feeling really good. She said she would post the cast list tomorrow. Not knowing where she would post it, I asked her. Her reply? "It doesn't matter. You won't be on it anyway." FML

#5303014
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (3185)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Kat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (23315)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

#5294180
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8162) - you deserved it (55042)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Jennnn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

#5291155
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52077) - you deserved it (3788)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:19pm - work - by Nakdnathan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

#5288582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (4014)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - work - by interviewed (woman) - United States

Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML

#5288568
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46925) - you deserved it (5174)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - misc - by fobfan14 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (20729)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML

#5288032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43140) - you deserved it (12906)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:38am - misc - by omgstfuplz (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

#5286860
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8146) - you deserved it (58697)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: