Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (143133)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

#1877583
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56630) - you deserved it (2690)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

#1877566
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55883) - you deserved it (13627)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71494) - you deserved it (13386)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML

#1870667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66049) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/12/2009 at 11:22am - love - by badboyfriend101 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

#1869904
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11840) - you deserved it (78515)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML

#1869352
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51591) - you deserved it (6484)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:41am - misc - by Viridian - United States

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

#1868232
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49185) - you deserved it (5948)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

#1866798
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (11922)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75225) - you deserved it (10840)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

#1865154
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44526) - you deserved it (7215)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:48am - work - by pdnne (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: