Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Yesterday, mah boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert . At the concert they puttd up a sign that said "Scream if u love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and startd screaming . FML

#1971558
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54804) - you deserved it (11444)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, fir mah birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on mah desk with a big bow on it. mega FML

#1969989
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (16803)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY I WAS IN A PUBLIC BATROOM, AND A LITTLE BOY WALKS IN AND E AS AN ACCIDENT. HE ASKED IF I COULD ELP IM CLEAN IT UP. SO I DECIDED TO ELP. I STARTED TO WALK TO IM TO ASSIST IM. TAT'SEN I WALKED STRAIGT INTO TE PEE AND I SLIPPED. MYOLE BACK WAS COVERED IN PEE. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45598) - you deserved it (6149)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again cuz I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (66607)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

today the grl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me an said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

#1967473
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41864) - you deserved it (2268)

On 05/15/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by FriendsZone (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I Was In A Batroom Stall Peieng. Sortly After, I Eard A Couple Enter Te Batroom, Bot Extremely Drunk. Tey Ten Ad Sex Standing Up Against Te Stall I Was In, Blocking Ma Only Exit. I Ad To Sit, Wait, And Listen As Bot Parties Finised. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38101) - you deserved it (4427)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

YASTARDAY GIRLFRIAND WAS SICK SO I TOOK AR 5 YAAR OLD DAUGTAR OUT TO AAT. HALF-WAY TROUG OUR "DATA" SA ASKS MA LOUDLY "CAN WA GO BACK TO TA CAR NOW AND TAKA OUR CLOTS OFF?" APPARANTLY SA MAANT AR TOY DOG'S CLOTAS. FACA BURNING, WA LAFT A ALF LAUGING/ALF GLARING CROWD BAIND. FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44116) - you deserved it (2861)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today... a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room cuz I didn't knowho else to call. FML

#1962325
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50037) - you deserved it (3868)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly told mah boyfriand that I could navar marry him bacausa ha's a Yankaas fan!! Ha told ma ha could navar marry ma bacausa ha couldn't saa himsalf having a tarribla lova lifa fir tha rast of his lifa!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#1961267
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (12805)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today... in mah art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat... old woman. About halfway through the piece... and while painting her fat rolls... I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

#1961143
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (7053)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by artclasstrauma (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ad a job intarviaw at a local businass wit ta ownar wo was man, and ta managar wo was a woman. I tougt I did pratty wall cuz I aard ta managar wispar so, as I was walking out. Tan I aard ta ownar wispar "no fat cicks." FML

#1958441
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (6248)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, some little grl looool went in te batroom fir quite a wile. Came out fir two minute an went back in. Se ten cummed out wit er finger clutced in a paper towel. One of te oter coworker went in to ceck te batroom. Te little grl wrote "Hi!" wit er own poop. FML

#1957441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42458) - you deserved it (2453)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I Went To The Midnight Premiere Of Angels An Demons. A Hobo Wandered Into The Theater An Sat Down Behind Me. I Paid $10 To Spend Two An A Half Hours Listening To A Crazy Man Talk To Himself An Kick Mah Chair While He Loudly Masturbated. FML

#1957244
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53746) - you deserved it (9022)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: