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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

#592855
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84388) - you deserved it (3915)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by fmrunning (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

#592595
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98941) - you deserved it (26021)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63889) - you deserved it (15174)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (24262)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (597940) - you deserved it (37959)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML

#579815
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (71084)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Prometheus (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62502) - you deserved it (31817)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62479) - you deserved it (9537)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (249564) - you deserved it (42024)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

#573136
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65317) - you deserved it (6890)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:43am - health - by bridalqueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

#572607
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52593) - you deserved it (13642)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:18am - misc - by kha (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

#571652
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77606) - you deserved it (10542)

On 03/24/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by spandex (man) - United States (California)



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