Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14316) - you deserved it (28880)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (2115)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7954) - you deserved it (27559)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (5534)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (2598)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

#7546
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (1648)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

#7471
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (4248)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36515) - you deserved it (1757)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4809) - you deserved it (26685)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

#6861
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (1746)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:51pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13633) - you deserved it (42203)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: