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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185314) - you deserved it (12744)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

#973952
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (50911)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

#971564
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86523) - you deserved it (5615)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (55200)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56984) - you deserved it (13031)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51486) - you deserved it (18173)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

#966838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17734) - you deserved it (85755)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by seussical65 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

#966789
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (87894)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86260) - you deserved it (8503)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65369) - you deserved it (6953)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

#964026
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68032) - you deserved it (4148)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:13am - work - by Bob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

#963368
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54393) - you deserved it (5970)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by wellgreat (woman) - United States (Washington)



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