Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36638) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (7358)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (30144)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (26438)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (3309)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

#77291
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (7571)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48328) - you deserved it (4931)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (37722)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

#75881
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (6552)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:36am - health - by fatass (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53882) - you deserved it (5066)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML

#75556
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13166) - you deserved it (23700)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: