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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60896) - you deserved it (8112)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (60518)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76680) - you deserved it (5233)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (180394)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128231) - you deserved it (9699)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81313) - you deserved it (6747)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (105770)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (61593)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10335) - you deserved it (102517)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63200) - you deserved it (4545)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was excited because I was going to get my college decisions back. I put all of the letters in order of my preference. Didn't get into my first choice. Denied from my second choice. Rejected from my third choice. Wait listed on my back-up. Accepted for a job at Target. FML

#306023
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60388) - you deserved it (8027)

On 03/13/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by sadsenior (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65923) - you deserved it (26711)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70389) - you deserved it (6585)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)



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