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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59398) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

#110231
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13342) - you deserved it (35407)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7759) - you deserved it (42444)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52029) - you deserved it (3153)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75545) - you deserved it (4481)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (13893)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

#108333
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (52450)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (62300)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML

#107726
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (15944)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64469) - you deserved it (2599)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

#104917
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (4052)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by JRock - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

#104112
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34253) - you deserved it (10695)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:02pm - health - by amandapurple (woman) - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15215) - you deserved it (52154)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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