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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

#115661
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (29108)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by loserface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17178) - you deserved it (38270)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

#115181
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59876) - you deserved it (3618)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I submitted a vacation request to my manager and it was approved. I came back from lunch and was informed that I have been let go. FML

#115170
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (1925)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by ExtendedVacation (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

#115148
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (34071)

On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

#114016
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66474) - you deserved it (8968)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58811) - you deserved it (20295)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

#113556
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18546) - you deserved it (48883)

On 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (36678)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

#112568
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (48568)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

#112502
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (7544)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:16am - work - by Debbie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136312) - you deserved it (11009)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriends house, whom I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her cell, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

#111857
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (9641)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by LAME (man) - United States (California)



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