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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253) - you deserved it (2669)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (5103)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

#21263853
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm - health - by catgiraffegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35456) - you deserved it (2215)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (2887)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (2492)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

#21263362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34382) - you deserved it (4674)

On 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm - love - by Serire (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (2565)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States



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