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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

#185358
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81914) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12101) - you deserved it (47601)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54871) - you deserved it (9692)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16373) - you deserved it (58894)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

#184275
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42160) - you deserved it (5651)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:58pm - work - by kimosabe (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

#183684
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (13017)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by gr8terevil (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

#183630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78590) - you deserved it (11306)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

#182768
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71930) - you deserved it (7255)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML

#181594
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (58318)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:22am - misc - by neelloc83 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML

#181542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9715) - you deserved it (38205)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96988) - you deserved it (4093)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87135) - you deserved it (4401)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

#180763
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/02/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Not Jewish (man) - United States (California)



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