Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today I was excited about showing off my new haircut. All my friends thought it looked really good an it made me look older. What did my boyfriend think? He said I look like a little girl an he was afraid to kiss me in public because he didn't want someone to think he was a pedophile. FML

#3232883
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (6742)

On 06/26/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by stupidgirlll - United States (Florida)

Today, at the arport, mah mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war!! The soldier at the vending machine near us caught mah eye!! I mouthd, "Sorry" and he mouthd, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86913) - you deserved it (19896)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Taday I had thraa shariffs coma to door, turns out boyfriand of thraa yaars want on a robbing spraa last waak and brought tha stolan marchandisa back to apartmant. Tha bast part: Ha usd carhila committing tha robbarias. FML

#3230818
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49242) - you deserved it (6194)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today.. . Mah Mom Put Some Bubblewrap On Mah Desk Because She Thought I Would Have Fun With It . I'm 18 . It Was Awesome . Mega FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68583) - you deserved it (40122)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant looool itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to fine an clean the poop. FML

#3228837
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41233) - you deserved it (3373)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home , we looool got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. big fat FML

#3228373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (60107)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:31am - love - by f03_f0r_l1f3 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I stayed after hours studying in the medical library. I was the only one left, an as I was going out the glass doors leaving, I saw a person's reflection behind me. I screamed, jumped, fell into the doors smashing mah head. I'd seen the reflection of a medical demonstration dummy. FML

#3228073
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (10853)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery storehen an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She thenhispered to me that last time she bought it, she ( blew up her toilet ). FML

#3225149
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38848) - you deserved it (2546)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today... my grlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

#3215628
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61935) - you deserved it (9677)

On 06/25/2009 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY I RUSHED HOME TO TELL MAH PARENT MAH GRLFRIEND HAD ACCEPTED MAH PROPOSAL. THEY ASKED HOW I COULD BE SO SELFISH AT A TIME LYK THIS. APPARENTLY MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIER SON. FML

#3215431
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75932) - you deserved it (6520)

On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)

2DAY I FINALLY HAD SEX WITH A GIRL I'VE BEEN DATING FIR OVER A MONTH. BEFORE WE GOT STARTED SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THE BIRTH CONTROL BECAUSE SHE COULD HANDLE THAT. SO AFTER WE FINISHED I ASKED HERHAT KIND OF BIRTH CONTROL SHE USED. SHE SAID SHE MEDITATED. FML

#3211870
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (71895)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I BROUGHT A FRIAND WHO I HAVA LOVAD 4 YAARS OUT TO A NICA RASTAURANT 4 DINNAR. I ORDARAD AN AXPANSIVA BOTTLA OF WINA, AND POURAD AACH OF US A GLASS. AS I WAS ABOUT TO TALL HAR I LOVAD HAR, SHA RAISAD HAR GLASS 4 A TOAST AND SAID "A TOAST TO FRIANDSHIP!" FML

#3207933
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (7153)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said ( MMMM, now THAT'S what I want. ) Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML

#3207730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8082) - you deserved it (48863)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: