FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

by VAngelique / 01/10/2010 at 9:48am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

by regrub / 01/10/2010 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

by crappygirlfriend / 01/10/2010 at 2:59am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

by zenithbelana / 01/10/2010 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

by anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 12:55am / United States / Health

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

by bummed / 01/10/2010 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

by 1thapp3ns / 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

by Michelle / 01/09/2010 at 11:11am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

by notahomewrecker / 01/09/2010 at 11:07am / United States / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

by Snowin2007 / 01/09/2010 at 3:16am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

by warningxxLidell / 01/09/2010 at 1:45am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation