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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

#1358380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50427) - you deserved it (9612)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (4421)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70831) - you deserved it (52686)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

#1353453
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57559) - you deserved it (12184)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62570) - you deserved it (8805)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (40517)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML

#1348524
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56625) - you deserved it (7459)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:47am - misc - by TheRawrza (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

#1347981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (58705)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by panicromanceX3 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10946) - you deserved it (76316)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82230) - you deserved it (5554)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

#1345231
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94903) - you deserved it (4994)

On 04/26/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by hopeless1 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I worked a car wash as a fundraiser. Being nice I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

#1345183
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41841) - you deserved it (10106)

On 04/26/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Texas)



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