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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

#4810321
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (20790)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

#4807414
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44682) - you deserved it (12261)

On 08/25/2009 at 9:21am - work - by mybad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

#4807185
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (11509)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40321) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (5579)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

#4795795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (6577)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:45pm - work - by Sailorjoe (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

#4789258
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43733) - you deserved it (7158)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

#4789213
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15160) - you deserved it (53560)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by InTheDoghouse23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

#4787214
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53167) - you deserved it (4376)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an old lady came to the bank where I worked at to apply for a loan. She obviously didn't qualify for one as she has no income coming in. She looked so pitiful, so I changed a couple of her information so she could. She reported me and I got fired. FML

#4785631
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (52985)

On 08/24/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by NoThanks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

#4783460
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58838) - you deserved it (3212)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm - health - by fannyfitel123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37823) - you deserved it (4844)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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