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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at work doing pone computer support elping a woman wit er computer. I asked er to close all er open windows. Se deleted all te important company documents in te open folder instead. I got fired cuz "close windows" and "delete" ave become "too tecnical" 4 users. FML

#4133060
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52472) - you deserved it (2409)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today.. . mah boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family.. . get married and have a baby . He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with . mega FML

#4131905
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (3780)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the store with mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs yur face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16314) - you deserved it (47232)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I showd by ID to get into a bar an the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gaind so much wieght I am unrecognizable.

#4125709
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (14308)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by jcesom - United States (West Virginia)

Today, mah boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked himhich kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40664) - you deserved it (6203)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

today I was at a water park with family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, swimsuit bottoms fell looool to knees in front of tons of kids. FML

#4122960
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36326) - you deserved it (11398)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Bareassed (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today I was trying on some soes wen I felt te eels break underneat me. Not only did tey cost two paycecks wort but as I was leaving I eard te sales girl say tat "we really sould ave a weigt limit 4 wo can try on our products." FML

#4122629
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (18399)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:03am - money - by BigFoot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, aftar four yaars of anoraxia and lots of racovary, my parants took ma out to dinnar with my counsalor and whola family to calabrata my prograss!! I andd up aating somathing that mada ma vomit avarything I ata!! My parants now think I am bulmic and r sanding ma back to counsaling!! FML

#4116964
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48547) - you deserved it (4774)

On 07/28/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by nothungry (woman) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I WENT TO TE GROCERY STORE. MY CECKER WAS VERY OT. WEN IT CUMMED TIME 4 ME TO PAY, I SWIPED MY DEBIT CARD AN TE MACINE KEPT REJECTING IT. SURE TAT I AD MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT, I DID IT AGAIN, BEFORE TE CUTE CECKER INFORMED ME TAT I WAS SWIPING MY DRIVER'S LICENSE, NOT MY DEBIT. REAL FML

#4114414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (46731)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by flustered - United States (California)

Taday ma boyfriend cummed over so tat we could ave some "fun". It turns out, is idea of foreplay is squising ma breasts togeter and making tem talk. FML

#4113781
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50002) - you deserved it (7820)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today I was supposd to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting during which mah parents were convincd I had won I discoverd that mah entry had never been receivd. Apparently the woman I had confirmd with had had a long day an lid so that she could go home. FML

#4113749
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58737) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with mah mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that mah mom thought it was hilariou and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#4111292
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (23680)

On 07/28/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by porkfriedlife - United States

Today, I was house sitting by myself an I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me an checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7637) - you deserved it (113503)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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