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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (2738)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (11275)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

#6961000
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29331) - you deserved it (13119)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by blahppl14 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29843) - you deserved it (3484)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (8262)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

#6958875
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/26/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by taylor_eileen - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

#6958712
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML

#6958051
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (2218)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by DeannaMarie - United States (Florida)

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

#6957410
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (7893)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (90423)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21609) - you deserved it (3602)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have an Urinary Tract Infection, causing me to have to use the bathroom about every ten minutes. I'm also about to leave on a 15 hour car trip with my entire family. FML

#6949981
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (2562)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (8801)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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