FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

by skatergrrrl / 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

by thirdwheel / 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

by Ashlee / 02/15/2010 at 10:21am / United States / Love

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

by Dumbdumb / 02/15/2010 at 9:29am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 9:22am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

by Floof / 02/15/2010 at 8:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

by Abandoned / 02/15/2010 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

by MisterBrown / 02/15/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

by shininghayley / 02/15/2010 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

by tayluh26 / 02/15/2010 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

by SeaSick / 02/15/2010 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

by Vgameboi / 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

by adam / 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy