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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11987) - you deserved it (64647)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (2700)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (21561)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (3006)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65302) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50289) - you deserved it (4529)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (2949)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

#3498415
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (2600)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

#3497280
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (3264)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Disgusted (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML

#3496673
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76899) - you deserved it (4128)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

#3495004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43253) - you deserved it (8736)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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