Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30124) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

#6148515
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (11995)

On 11/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by mylifeisfed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

#6147856
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36924) - you deserved it (2298)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

#6145744
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (5815)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40203) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a phone call from my dad that I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but it left me an accidental voicemail saying "Oh s***, I didn't mean to call her!" FML

#6145553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32760) - you deserved it (2332)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by assdialed. (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (3490)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

#6144396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/03/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by ljd09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

#6143431
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (10132)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by tbanana95 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (4835)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML

#6140991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50463) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Uknowwh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

#6137753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (6696)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:51pm - work - by CorpDrone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27125) - you deserved it (2435)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: