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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (3490)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

#6144396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/03/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by ljd09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

#6143431
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (10131)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by tbanana95 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (4835)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML

#6140991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50459) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Uknowwh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

#6137753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (6372)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:51pm - work - by CorpDrone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (2434)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

#6136061
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13801) - you deserved it (27146)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

#6136055
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33459) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

#6134819
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (2305)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by wrongcar - United States (Kansas)

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

#6133769
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (5946)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by katurday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

#6133031
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (6867)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)



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