Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

#3334835
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46420) - you deserved it (5332)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by wowzersthatsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45174) - you deserved it (11416)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49742) - you deserved it (2857)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (15330)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

#3329727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (10916)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

#3327464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (14016)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

#3319716
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51628) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/28/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by fmerunning (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

#3316685
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (4905)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by sk8rgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

#3313265
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52208) - you deserved it (8002)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by angry (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (44830)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

#3308515
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58594) - you deserved it (3467)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

#3305940
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57394) - you deserved it (22286)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by resipsahipsta (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: