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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9633) - you deserved it (46169)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

#6217069
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40248) - you deserved it (3927)

On 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (7276)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78916) - you deserved it (6247)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. FML

#6209911
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7394) - you deserved it (48509)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Cakeman (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

#6209512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (2568)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32325) - you deserved it (3269)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (58557)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

#6205717
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (3406)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:28am - animals - by lessinterestingthanadog (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML

#6205002
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36183) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:46pm - misc - by LifeSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (6687)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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