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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

#7433438
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (4917)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:59am - misc - by momof2boys - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38942) - you deserved it (4467)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

#7431975
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/19/2010 at 1:44am - work - by StillHurt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (5702)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

#7424503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30495) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by SadMan (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (2731)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54621) - you deserved it (8451)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12166) - you deserved it (41044)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

#7420150
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8951) - you deserved it (42719)

On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States



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