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FMLs submitted from United States

TODAY, MAH FIANCÉ, HIS MOTHER, MAH FATHER AN I WENT OUT TO CELEBRATE MAH BIRTHDAY AN OUR RECENT ENGAGEMENT. AFTER DINNER, MAH FATHER AN FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW REVEALD TO US THAT THEY HAD SECRETLY BEEN DATING AN WERE TALKING ABOUT ALSO GETTING MARRID. ANYBODY WANT CAKE? FML

#4996665
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (2645)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I was going to work an got in the elevator. I was going through bag for phone an asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms.

#4995727
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (12307)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, I was anging out wit a co-workero I really liked. One ting led to anoter and we ended up going to er ouse and ooked up. Once we'd finised, I noticed anoter co-workers ID on te floor by er bed. I asked er about it and se said e must ave dropped it tere last nigt. FML

#4994251
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18938) - you deserved it (7718)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States

Today, my best friend wo I've ad serious feelings fir for over a year decided to tell everyone tat e asn't gotten laid in almost 2 years. Wen I told im tat e was lying, e responded wit ( No, I'm not. Wo could I possibly ave slept wit? ) We ooked up 6 monts ago. 3 times. mega FML

#4993116
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (3498)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by sexytime (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my grlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacyhen we're at there place. I suggested that we go to my place fir a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see wat we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

#4992541
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I found out that mah company was throwing a work picnic. When i showd up I realizd that it had been plannd months ago and I wasn't supposd to find out. The entre restaurant was there greeting me with faces of utter shock. Nothing says 'you suck' more than being 'that guy' at your job. FML

#4990869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39457) - you deserved it (5693)

On 09/02/2009 at 12:29am - work - by Joel (man) - United States (California)

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching fir me, he was reaching fir the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (6143)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today, I told mah friend over videochat every explicit detail ofhat I had in store for mah boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that herhispering during the story was her way of trying looool to tell me her dad was in the room listening to thehole thing. FML

#4985034
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (24533)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm - intimacy - by whorica139 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , mah best friend thought it would be funny push me off mah bike . He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally droppd me .

#4983911
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44776) - you deserved it (2737)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah college roommatehom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couchhen he walked in. That would've been awkward. big fat FML

#4983449
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9803) - you deserved it (38615)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters!! I turnd around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide!! I screamd ( holy shit! ) really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny!! Then I realizd the creepy man was a cardboard cutout!! FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (42151)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today.. . I received a text message from my favorite sister saying ( Great news! The technology in condom has improved so much that they ensure that accident lyk u won't ever happen again! ) Today's my birthday . FML

#4978107
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44643) - you deserved it (8282)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walkd into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate postd. As I got close to read it I was attackd by a very pissd off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)



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