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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML

#3021035
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you deserved it (4182)

On 06/19/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by insomniac (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (110733)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

#3017474
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (6188)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (5318)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50952) - you deserved it (17896)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

#3011337
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (46342)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (7727)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48630) - you deserved it (4911)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36719) - you deserved it (23578)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding the bus home from the Verizon store after getting my brand new EnV Touch. I was taking pictures with it when I noticed a woman with very nice boobs. I zoomed in to get a better picture when she looked at me with a disgusted face. The external display was on. FML

#2997013
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (88414)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by heythurr234 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87317) - you deserved it (4686)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

#2991081
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (57958)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by stelno - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45302) - you deserved it (8169)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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